Lasting bonds and meaningful friendships

‘How many friends do you have Dad?‘ was the question recently asked of me by my eldest boy. ‘Not many’ was my response which wasn’t very cool to an adolescent with hundreds of online virtual friends.

I tend not to make many new friends these days. I have many acquaintances and colleagues but that is usually the limititation of my social contact. I can count the number of close friends I have on two hands. These aren’t people I even keep in contact with. I don’t send birthday messages or best wishes over the holidays yet I would consider these people my dearest friends and would happily help each in any way possible if they asked.

I saw one of these friends 21 months ago. I had pulled into a service station for fuel and awaited the person in front of me to finish filling up. As I waited and watched, I noticed the man in front had a large muscular v-shaped build, he looked familiar even from a side profile so I got out of the car to investigate further.

I walked up behind him and said ‘hurry up’. Even with his size and obvious strength, he turned around to apologise before even looking to see who had spoken to him so rudely. When he turned and realised it was me, we immediately hugged.

It may have appeared strange for patrons, including my partner and children, to see two large grown men embracing in front of bowser #7.

I think we stood there hugging without saying a single word for a whole minute. It had been years since I last saw him but the time apart didn’t matter, I was present in the moment, overwhelmed and so grateful to see him again. When we eventually spoke, we made small talk about what we had each been up to, and received updates about others from the past. It was then time to say farewell and go our seperate ways.

When I returned to my car, the kids and my partner were curious as to why I had been hugging the stranger. I explained who he was and told them how he had helped me when I was younger.

He had such a positive impact on me as did many of the other role models I met when I joined the PCYC wrestling team as an adolescent punk kid.

That evening I received a lovely text from him. It took me four days to reply. Beneath are the text messages sent between us. Messages remain verbatim with the exception of the removal of names for de-identifying purposes.

Wherever you are my friend, I hope that you and family are all smiling and healthy. It was incredible to see you today, just so incredible.

Good morning my friend, I saw your message the morning after you sent it but I didn’t know how to properly express in words what I felt at the time – but I think I can now. When I saw you and we hugged it was like seeing a long lost brother that I had missed for a long long time. So much emotion and happiness hit me at once. Even when I went back to the car and my partner asked me who I had just embraced, as soon as I told her it was you she immediately understood. The bonds we all developed under Coach’s guidance are so strong that I can’t help but feel for you guys the same way I do with my own brothers. We may not see or speak to each other often but I will never forget how much of a positive impact you have made on my life. Until next time.
Paul

I want you to know, and always know, that I feel the same way, as do my brothers. The wrestling team is family. Thank you for your special words, and until next time.

To the mentor this story involves, I hope it is ok that I have shared this moment. I was in two minds about it but wanted to show that when great friendships are formed, they can last a lifetime. Thank you for the time, effort and energy you and your family spent on me and mine.

PDR