Don’t get a big head!

Whenever I’ve accomplished something of significance, or am working on something interesting or have made a recent notable purchase, I am usually rushing to tell my Mum. Her typical response is ‘That’s good, Son but don’t get a big head’. Her unpleasantly direct and humbling words keep her advice at the front of mind. She means well and says this to ensure I stay modest, true to my cause and respectful at all times to all people.

It’s so easy for us to get caught up in believing that our own actions are critical and that without our personal involvement and effort that things wouldn’t get done. While some people are once-in-a-lifetime amazing – Elon Musk and Steve Jobs come to mind – the majority of us can be replaced in the roles we are paid to perform. I used to have a manager who would say ‘nobody’s irreplaceable, we’re just bums in seats’. While I may not agree with his statement, I can see his point of view.

I don’t know if you frequently experience this too but I’ll often be working on something and think ‘this is going to have a big impact’. Most of the time it fizzles out or I learn that somebody else had already created a far better solution than what I erroneously believed to be a new creation by me.

This should never stop your passion for discovery or learning but should serve to help you in becoming more perceptive of your own self worth. A great way of developing this skill is to deliberately and frequently place yourself in uncomfortable and difficult situations. I experienced such an event this morning.

My eldest daughter and I had traversed and defeated Mt Painter yesterday for our morning walk. On the way down, we discussed what we would conquer the following morning. We agreed on Mt Ainslie. I used to walk/jog it in my fitter days but it had been close to 10 years since I had last done so.

As we arrived at the base of the mountain, we pumped each other up with words of encouragement. We had a bottle of water and two oranges packed in a bag to savour at the peak just as we did atop Mt Painter the day before.

As we made our ascent, I quickly found myself out of breath and unable to speak while walking. I knew I was performing poorly when my daughter asked why I was walking so slowly and breathing so loudly as she had to continuously slow down to not get too far ahead of me. I felt embarrassed when two elderly gentlemen briskly passed me while maintaining a meaningful conversation. They appeared to have been in their 70s.

My legs and lungs were begging me to stop and rest. I refused as I didn’t want my daughter to see her father give up. Near the top, just past a rock staircase, my daughter asked if we could stop and have some water. I delightedly agreed to her request. Once we had refuelled, we continued on and reached the peak. The sky was clear so I was able to show her significant points of interest across Canberra. The feeling of accomplishment was great. The air is always fresher and the view clearer when you feel you have deserved it. Similar to enjoying a beer after mowing the yard.

We ran all the way down the mountain. It was now me needing to slow down waiting for her to catch up as it’s far easier controlling a 150kg descent than climb.

Think of situations you’re uncomfortable in and make yourself do them. It’s absolutely fine to start small but you need to start. If public speaking is a fear then make a deliberate attempt to communicate with a stranger or sign up for an online/face-to-face public speaking course such as Toastmasters. After constant exposure and practise, it will no longer be a challenge and you will have gained new skills. Then challenge yourself to do something else uncomfortable. Once you’ve done this enough times, you won’t worry about being replaceable as you’ll be adaptable.

PDR