A good deed a day keeps the blues at bay

One of my long standing practises is to perform at least one good deed each day. My only stipulation is the deed cannot be counted if it is for the benefit of a family member

Deeds can be as grand or as small as I like. As long as the action is deliberate and its purpose is to help someone/something then it is considered a worthy deed. I think I became aware of this practise as a young person from one of my fathers.

He had taken, my stepmum, my brothers and I on holiday. We were living it up at a hotel where my brothers and I had our own room with a McDonalds nearby. Being kids, McDonalds was the greatest restaurant on earth so we visited it frequently.

During one of these visits, my father noticed a homeless gentlemen laying in a booth on our way out. My dad turned returned to the service counter and gave the staff a hundred dollar note to feed the man in the booth. The staff said it wasn’t necessary as the stranger was a regular who was well looked after by the staff and management there.

At the time I was surprised why my father would give away money to a stranger. My dad said it was best not to give the money directly to the man himself as he wasn’t capable of using it wisely but he (my father) could still help by asking those around the stranger for assistance. As I grew up and learned more about people and the world, I became incredibly proud of my father for that moment and think it imprinted a great lesson on to me. I am certainly not as generous with money as he is but I follow his practise to help others in need when I am able to. With so much need in the world, I typically limit my good deeds to one per day which equates to 365 positive actions each year – give or take a few dozen.

I do this for several reasons. The first thing to understand is each person assisted is somebody’s son or daughter. They may have brothers, sisters, sons and or daughters just like you and I. So I help because if I or somebody I loved was ever in that particular situation, I would hope somebody would help in the same manner. Secondly, I get a great feeling when helping. I feel a great pride in myself which is gained from such a small action on my end but which may have great benefit to the recipient.

A common way I action my deed for the day is during grocery visits. When I see someone outside the center asking for money, I’ll introduce myself and as a general rule I won’t offer money but I’ll offer to buy them something from the store. Over time I get to know some people’s requests pretty well. Usually, requests are for items such as a soft drink, coffee, iced coffee, chocolate milk, phone credit to call family, biscuits or chocolate. Recently, I’ve noticed people asking for more essential items such as milk, bread or tea.

I used to avoid interacting with people who were down on their luck asking for money. I felt uncomfortable when they asked me and avoided them as much as I could. This sometimes meant taking alternate footpaths to work when I worked in the city. One day, I was too tired to avoid this one person in particular who would walk around with a sign in his hands and get in people’s face – in as polite a manner as he could muster – to ask for money. On this particular occasion, I flat out said ‘no’. His response was ‘ok’ and he moved on. I had avoided him and witnessed peers and others change direction to avoid this individual but after the brief encounter of not making an excuse of why I didn’t have any money and him not being offended or upset, I felt great. I think I had held an irrational fear that he would become aggravated but it wasn’t the case.

After this moment, the next step was to remove my unnecessary feeling of discomfort when being around homeless people so I started going out at lunch time and speaking with people I was once scared of. I have met so many wonderful people and the thing which would make your hat fall off would be to discover that many of these people are as normal as you or I. I have met many people who previously had a normal job with a pay check that paid for their living costs just like you and I. The difference is something happened where they found themselves in their current situation. It would be foolish of me to say that would never happen to me. It has happened to people far brighter and more resilient than me so is entirely possible.

When I was much younger, I decided to run away from home one evening. It was a stupid idea and I didn’t have a good reason for doing so, I was just upset at the time so left my father’s place, without a plan, provisions or money. After a period of time, I found myself walking through a tennis court in somebody’s backyard. I knocked on the rear door with with tears and snot running down my face and told my short-lived impoverished tale.

The gentlemen let me in, gave me a soft-drink and some tissues. He and his daughter then drove me to a bus shelter from where I caught a bus to the train station. I managed to stay at a relatives place that evening and arrive at my mother’s place 300km away the next day. I can’t recall where that stranger lives to thank him but am grateful that he opened his backdoor to a complete stranger.

Sometimes my deeds are minuscule such as holding a door for another. Sometimes they are far grander. The point is to do something purposeful with the intention of helping another without any reciprocating benefit to yourself.

I teach this to my kids and am sure they will in-turn teach it to theirs. Another great lesson I learned during a baby-moon vacation in Hawaii was seeing family’s spend part of their day together cleaning the side of the highway. Each family is responsible for a particular length of the highway and take it upon themselves to keep it clean for the betterment of all. The kids do this when we play at parks. Many hands make light work so have a think about what good deeds you’ve done lately as now is as good of a time to start as ever.

PDR